Pensioners' Surrender

London, 25th August 2035       Caving in to pressure, British pensioners have accepted demands for a massive handover of their wealth to the younger generation.  In a landmark referendum, in which all able-bodied over-65s were required to cast their vote, 78% voted to accept the demands of the Movement for Inter-Generational Justice for a windfall tax.  This will see all accumulated wealth over and above £50,000 held by this age-group incurring a levy of 50%, and any wealth over and above £250,000 being taxed at 80%.

The referendum was the culmination of eight months of heated debate, in which moral responsibility was pitted against personal interest, and which emanated from more than two years of civil unrest. 

This generation, born prior to1970, had enjoyed the privilege of inherited benefits from the responsible savings culture of the generation above them, together with the free-credit culture of the late 20th century.  Many had also enjoyed free loan-free university education.  Meanwhile, property prices during the second half of the 20th century rose so much that even those who borrowed money to purchase property were made rich from their investment. 

Fears that, as they logged in to place their vote, the moral imperative to 'hand back' their wealth to the next generation would be outweighed by the loss of wealth they would face if they clicked the 'yes' box, proved to be unfounded.

It is hoped that, with this correction now to take place, the haranguing of pensioners, the attacks on old people's homes, the spate of 'accidental deaths' of old people at the hands of their grandchildren, and the calls for compulsory euthanasia for non-productive elderly will subside.  

Who knows, maybe we will see grandparents once again walking freely in the streets, side-by-side with their grandchildren?  

When Classes were Hot!

London, June 29th, 2035 - - - Teenagers visiting the newly opened "Old Schooldays Museum" in South Kensington were saddened to see the wasteful ways of just 25 years ago. What shocked them most about the mock-up classroom was not the furniture, nor the antiquated audio-visual equipment, nor the non-circular layout, nor even the dominance of the whiteboard at the 'front' of the room.  It was the heating system.  

Back in those days, when oil just seemed to pour out of the ground, classrooms were artificially heated whenever the temperature started to fall below 18 degrees Celsius - that was the law. In those days, even in winter, children wore light clothing.  Indeed, wearing of woolly hats in the classroom would have been banned!

Indeed, it was only twenty years ago, as oil shortages began to push prices up towards their true values, that people across Britain began to wear thicker clothes, and shops and offices were authorised (and then compelled) to switch off their heating systems. Indeed, it was not until 2025 that potable anti-freeze was introduced into all drinking water systems.  Before then, it was not uncommon, even in those extravagant 'heating days', for water pipes to burst as the water froze.   Unbelievably, because of the frost risk, people used to keep their heating on in their houses, in offices and in schools, even when they were empty!

How times have changed. If they had realised that their children and grandchildren would be obliged to walk and cycle, simply because, in the space of a few decades, they had extracted and set fire to nearly all the planet's oil, then one might hope that they wouldn't have been quite so short-sighted.  

They were worried about global warming in those days - but as we know to our cost today, that wasn't the main problem.

Swine Flu Officially Over

Geneva, January 13th 2035  - - More than 20 years since the last known case of Swine Flu was recorded, the World Health Organisation has finally announced the end of the pandemic.  Older readers may remember the panic caused when, more than a quarter of a century ago, this new flu was seen to be spread across the world from South America; younger readers may never have heard of it.  Despite fears that it would decimate the world's population, the Swine Flu turned out to be a one of the least dangerous of strains.

The WHO announcement comes on the 25th anniversary of the day that, in the light of complaints from governments around the world who found themselves over-stocked with unwanted vaccines,  they promised a review of how the pandemic was managed, and of what role, if any, major drug companies had played in hyping up the hysteria around it.  The review, they had said, would start 'only once the pandemic is over'. 

So now, finally, if anyone cares, this review can go ahead.

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