Sunday, November 22

Euro-Tribalism can be Eradicated

Brussels, 22nd November 2034 -- Tribalism in Europe can be eradicated, according to Nigerian charity workers speaking confidently at the opening session of the Eurescue Summit.

Tribalism, long ago dismissed as an African problem, is now threatening the ‘darkening continent’ of Europe. The difficulties began with the now infamous horse-trading dinner of November 2009, at which heads of state agreed for two relative unknowns, a Belgian man and a British woman, to be appointed as Europe’s President and High Representative for Foreign Affairs. The pair were acknowledged at the time to be weak, and were relatively unknown at the time of selection. Now, 25 years on, few remember their names.

When the Euro-Cabinet was expanded six months later, it was to France, Germany, Slovenia, Malta, Romania, Latvia, and Finland that positions were granted. The appointments were made not so much with a view to attracting the best people to the top jobs, but to ensure that representation was given to a broad spread of countries, to all classes, all religions, all sexual persuasions, all ethnic groups, to males and females, to the disabled and able-bodied, and to the left, centre and right of the political spectrum.

When this expanded but still largely unpopular team of nine people from nine states was in its turn forced to stand down in 2012, it was on what appeared to be an enlightened basis that Europe should be led by the best qualified, rather than the most harmless. However, few were ready to support candidates who spoke languages other than their own. Euro-Tribalism was now alive and kicking.

With the benefit of hindsight, one can see that the dreams of creating a United States of Europe along the USA model were doomed from the start. Unlike the States two hundred and fifty years ago, each Euro-state already had its own language, its own government structure, and, most importantly, its own history. It would have been more surprising if tribalism had not emerged as a problem.

And so it is that, whereas once Europeans from ‘the developed world’ would go to the so-called ‘developing countries’ of Africa, now it is the Africans who enjoy higher standards of living, stronger democracy and greater wealth. And it is from Africa that development-missionaries now come to Europe, seeking to tackle the tribalism that is now pulling Europe down and apart.

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